Alice's Discovery
by petuniagirl16
Summary: What if Alice stumbled across a certain fan fiction website? Final Chapter up!
1. Fan fiction discovery

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, New Moon, or any of the characters involved.**

Bella's POV:

I climbed out of my truck, and slammed the door shut. If the Cullens didn't know I was here already, now they would. I walked slowly towards the door. As I was climbing up the stairs, the door flew open. Alice stood there, a wild look in her eyes. My own eyes widened at her appearance. She was not her groomed to perfection self. Her normally artistically spiky hair lay flat on her head. She was dressed in the same thing I had seen her in two days ago. Something was wrong. But even if something were wrong, Alice would have taken the time to shower and change clothes. For one terrifying moment I wondered if she were thirsty. Then she spoke.

"Edward's not here. He went to town with Esme to buy food." Her voice was the same. But that look in her eyes…wait, what?

"Food? Why?" I was well accustomed to hearing about the Cullens diet. Regular human food was not part of that diet.

"We have to keep some semblance of normalcy. We have to _seem_ as if we eat, Bella." She lowered her voice, and muttered to herself "Not that it matters anymore anyway."

"What? Alice, what's going on? Is anyone else here?" Her behavior was making me nervous.

"Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie went hunting. They asked if I wanted to go with, but I said no. And you know where Esme and Edward are. Why he likes to shop with her for food, I will never know. So, no, I'm the only one here for the moment. As for what's going on, I've stumbled across something very….interesting. Come in." She waited patiently as I loped my way through the door, and into the white living room. The door was almost silent as she pushed it shut. "Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

"No, I'm good for now" To tell the truth, I was too worried to eat.

"Okay. You know there is an open fridge policy for humans named Bella here, so if you want something, just take it. It needs to be eaten anyway. I'm going to go upstairs and…do something with this mess," she gestured to herself. "I'll be down in about 10 minutes."

I flashed the thumbs up sign at her, and wandered further into the living room. I flopped down on the couch, and started channel surfing on the TV. True to her word, Alice was down in 10 minutes. Less than, actually. She beckoned to me with her hand, and I quickly switched off the TV and followed her up the stairs to her room. A computer sat in one corner, its screen covered with windows. As I got closer I saw that it was I sometimes went there to read Jane Austen fan fiction. Some of it was hilarious, some of it was really good, and some of it was awful. I had toyed with the idea of submitting my own fan fiction, but had decided against it. I never knew if Edward was into that kind of thing too, and the thought of him finding my steamy fan fiction was not something I cared to experience. But this was not Jane Austen fan fiction. This was for something called _Twilight._ I started to read the pages Alice had open, and found my mouth dropping open. I saw fan fictions about myself, Edward, Alice, and the rest of the Cullens. I even read some about Jacob and the LaPush werewolves. I was stunned. Where did this come from?

"Alice, where did you find this? Who posted this stuff? Do people know it's real?" A horrible thought occurred to me. "Has anyone from Forks seen this?" By this time, I was hyperventilating, tears streaming down my face. Alice had her arm around me, and a strange smile on her face.

"No one from Forks has seen this, or ever will. I put a block on the site so no one here can access it. I stumbled across it when I typed our last name into Google. Don't look at me like that, Bella. I was bored. No one knows it's real. Apparently there's a book called Twilight about you and Edward falling in love. It's a bestseller. Girls love it. And there's a whole bunch of fan fiction about it. Some steamy stuff too." Alice smiled at me. "Do you want to see it?"

I was about to tell her how much I didn't want to see it, when she cut me off. "Wait, Edward and Esme are coming back. We better save this until later. I need to clear my mind. Can you close all those windows, and shut down the computer?"

"You haven't told anyone?! Not even Carlisle?" I started to close the windows, as she asked.

"Um, no. I decided that I would get all the information I needed to get, and then tell everyone." She closed her eyes. "Okay. Let's go downstairs and help with the groceries." She got up, and danced out of the room. I followed.

Downstairs, Edward and Esme were coming through the door with a massive amount of food. Edward had so much in his arms that I couldn't see his face. He knew I was there anyway. "Hey, Bella."

"Hey." I shot a look at Alice. She shot one back. It was a warning look. I suppressed a smile, and followed everyone into the kitchen. Edward was there, and the groceries were already put away. He smiled at me, and I thought my heart would melt inside my chest. He took my hand, and led me up the stairs to his room.

I had always felt so at home in Edward's room. There was something about the room that was so inviting. I threw myself onto the couch. Edward switched on the stereo, and sat down next to me. Incubus drifted through the speakers, and filled the room. Edward leaned back against the couch, and closed his eyes. I scooted closer to him, and laid my head on his rock hard chest. I could feel the chill of his skin through his shirt. I shivered. Edward opened his eyes a crack, and smiled when he saw me shivering. He gently pushed me off of him, and crossed the room to his closet. He took out a blanket that matched the walls. He came back to the couch, lifted me in his arms, and sat back down, me on his lap. He draped the blanket over me. "Better?" I knew he couldn't stand to see me cold. I nodded.

"I noticed Alice was blocking her thoughts earlier. You, wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" He looked intently at me.

Oh no. "No, why would I know why Alice blocked her thoughts from you. Maybe she was thinking about something that she knew you wouldn't want to see." I was so bad at lying, and Edward knew that. He looked at me again, turning on the fire in his topaz eyes. He took my face in his hands and laid his lips on mine. He pulled back a few seconds later.

"Are you sure? Because it seemed to me from the glances that you both traded that there was something you were hiding."

"It's nothing."

"So there is something, then?" _Damn._ I hadn't meant to reveal anything.

"Who said that?" I was seriously stalling now. Edward's face was no longer amused.

"You said that. Spill, Bella." I tried to squirm from his arms, but he locked them around me. So instead I took a deep breath.

"ALICE!" I yelled. "ALICE COME HERE!" Almost as soon as the words were out of my mouth, Alice was there. I wrestled myself out of Edwards grip, and stood up.

"You told him, didn't you?" She stared at me accusingly.

"No, but you're going to. I can't keep secrets, and I certainly can't lie! You need to work this out on your own." I stomped out of the room. I could faintly hear Alice beginning to tell Edward her news. Then, not so faintly, I could hear Edward's roaring laugh.

**Author's Note: I promise that this will get funnier….this was just setting up the story. If I get a lot of reviews, I think I might be able to post faster hint hint :D**


	2. The Plan

As I was flouncing my way down the huge staircase in the Cullens house, I could still hear Edward's musical laugh. I'll admit it, I swooned a little. I still couldn't believe my luck. He loved me! I smiled, and was still smiling when I ran head-on into Esme when I reached the bottom of the stairs. I bounced off her solid frame, and was mid-fall when her strong arms pulled me upright. "I'm so sorry, Bella!" Esme's heart-shaped face was worried. "Are you alright?"

My Edward induced smile was still on full force. "Yes, Esme, I'm fine. Stop worrying!" I hugged her, and we turned and walked toward the living room. As we were walking, Edward's laugh ceased abruptly. Esme and I turned toward the staircase. Edward and Alice were at the bottom. Edward had an icy look on his face, and Alice was trying to stifle a laugh. My smile got bigger, if that was possible. I met his eyes, and I could see they weren't icy at all. They were burning.

"What's wrong, Edward?" I teased him, walking up and putting my hands on his chest.

"There's fan fiction out there, about us getting…._intimate,_" He said this through his teeth. His arms were now crossed over his chest. He leaned closer to me "I don't really feel comfortable with that. I don't know how it got there, or how this Stephenie Meyer woman knew our story. Why are you okay with it?" He looked worried.

"Intimate? What kind of person says '_intimate_' anymore? You are in need of a serious slang update, my brother." Emmett's booming voice called out.

"Oh, god." Edward muttered. "This is the last thing I need right now."

"What do you mean?" Emmett's face looked hurt. Alice buzzed up to his side, and whispered in his ear. Edward looked daggers at her, as Emmett's eyes widened, a disbelieving grin spreading across his face. I guess this was the point where Alice told him about the steamy fictions, because he burst into peels of laughter. At one point, he was on the floor. If Emmett could have turned red, he would have been the shade of a tomato. By this time, Alice had flitted around the room, and whispered to everyone about the fan fiction. Emmett, Esme, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice were in fits of laughter, the likes of none I had never seen before. Rosalie was on her knees on the floor, Jasper was propped up against a post, Emmett was still on the floor, and Esme had drifted over toward the piano, leaning on it, shaking with laughter. Edward had disappeared. Although I found it mildly funny in the beginning, I couldn't understand why the idea of Edward and I…..being together….was so funny. I started up the stairs, unnoticed by the laughing family. I tiptoed down the hallway, to Alice's room. I had the distinct feeling that Edward would be there. I peeked around the door. Edward was indeed sitting at the computer, his back to me.

"Are you going to come in, or what? I have something to show you." Edward no longer sounded mad. In fact, he sounded quite happy. I groaned, and walked toward him and the computer. I'd had enough of people showing me things for one day. I stood behind him, leaning over his shoulder to see the moniter. His hands ran up and down my arms, raising goose bumps. I read what he had pulled up, and I began to smile

"Think it'll take the smug looks off their faces? He had an evil grin stretched across his own face.

I looked down at him, surprised. An evil grin stretched across my face too. "Oh, I think so. This is good, this is very good, Edward." All of a sudden, I had an idea. "I have a plan."

"I love it when you plot." He turned in the computer chair, and his hands found my waist. He pulled me on his lap. We sat like that for awhile, then he tucked his hand under my chin, and lifted my face toward his. He kissed me deeply, his hands exploring my back. I ran my hands under his shirt, along his chest. He pushed me away gently. "What's the plan?" I leaned closer to whisper in his ear.

Later, after we had perfected the plan, we came down the stairs holding hands. We made our way into the living room, where everyone was sprawled out on the couches, the TV blaring. Edward and I sat on the loveseat closest to the dining room. Emmett and Rosalie threw glances at us, and Alice and Jasper had their heads bent together, whispering about something. Esme had left to visit Carlisle at the hospital during his break, no doubt filling him in on Alice's discovery.

Edward and I looked at each other, and I winked at him. The signal. Edward turned to me, and said in a conversational tone "Read anything good lately, Bella?"

I feigned interest. "Yes, Edward, as a matter of fact I have."

Edward stifled a smile. "Care to share? I mean, it's understandable if you don't want to, but I'm rather interested." Alice and Rosalie were staring at us, looks of confusion on their exquisite faces. Emmett had his eyes trained on the football game on TV, and Jasper was stroking Alice's hand, and gazing deeply into her distracted eyes.

"Why, of course! I would love to share with you, Edward!" I whipped out a hefty stack of printed sheets bound by staples. I flipped through the numerous stories, until I came to the perfect one. I pulled it out of the pile, and read the title to myself. I almost lost it then and there. "I've been reading a lot of short stories lately. They're very interesting. This one's called 'Emmett and Rosalie Go On Vacation', and it's pretty steamy, shall I read you part of it?"

Edward suppressed a smile. "Oh please, do. This sounds promising." Emmett's head snapped away from the TV, and Rosalie looked livid.

"Well, maybe we'll save that for another time. Oh, here's another one. It's called 'Jasper's Special Talents', and like the first one, it's pretty hot and heavy." Jasper looked like he'd been hit in the stomach, and Alice had her head down, supremely embarrassed.

Edward pressed his lips together. "Any other stories you would like to share? I'm finding your reading material quite boring." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw four mouths drop open simultaneously. I felt waves of indignation wash over me; Jasper must be mad. But my own mirth overrode his emotions, and I looked at Edward, struggling hard to control his laughter. I clapped a hand over my mouth, and could control it no longer. The look of rage on their faces was _priceless_. I threw my head back, and let loose. Edward did also. I looked over at them, sitting together on a sofa.

All of a sudden, Edward's strong arms were under me, and he was running toward the staircase. As he was climbing the staircase, I could hear Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett coming after us. Uh-oh.


	3. Edward and Bella get a closer look

**Author's Note****: Wow! Thanks for all the reviews! I love all this response to my story! I'm glad you all like it; because I didn't think my comic chops were anything special. Can anyone tell me what a beta is, and if I need one? Thanks.**

Edward dashed up the stairs, his insulted siblings close behind. This might have made me laugh, if it weren't for the sheer fact that Edward and his siblings were vampires with superhuman speed and strength. That made me a little nervous. We reached the top of the staircase, and Edward rounded the corner. He was moving so swiftly down the hall, that I couldn't see anything. He made a run for Alice's room, and was in and slammed the door before I could blink. He set me down, and turned around to lock it.

"Isn't locking that door a bit pointless? Someone could rip that door off the hinges as easily as ripping a piece of paper." The pounding on the door was deafening. I almost, okay, scratch that. I _did_ expect a fist to come through the thick wood of the door.

Edward smiled. "They wouldn't dare. Esme would kill them."

"Do you mind telling me why we're in Alice's room, instead of yours?" I was a little confused by that.

He looked at me like I was stupid. "The computer's in here. If we're going to read some fan fiction about ourselves, we might as well do it together. I need someone to bounce my thoughts off of, and who better to bounce them off, than you? Besides, I'd feel _really_ awkward reading fan fiction about sex with, say, Alice or Emmett." He cringed and narrowed his eyes. "Especially Emmett."

From the hallway, I could hear Emmett's hurt response "Hey! I've always been your go to guy about _intimate_ things. God, Edward, remind me that I really, really need to talk to you about your slang." After that, there were assorted giggles from the others. Edward sighed and dragged me further into the room.

"Maybe we should look up the stories that go along with the titles you found online," he said. The laughter and pounding in the hallway suddenly stopped. I would have bet money that their ears were pressed up to the door. "Because those were pretty interesting, especially because they weren't about us." He emphasized the last three words, and it was obvious that they weren't for me. The pounding on the door started up again double time. Edward sighed, and crossed the room to the door, flung it open, and stood in the frame. I stood behind him, jumping to try to see over his shoulder. When I finally achieved that, I burst into laughter. All four of them were crowded in a two square foot space. Emmett and Rosalie were holding each other with one arm, and pounding on the door with the other. Alice and Jasper were pounding on the door with both hands. Edward cracked up, too.

"Okay, guys, let me say a couple things, before you try to maul me." Judging from the looks on their faces right then, I would have to say that it took a lot of control not to maul him. "First, Emmett, you are _not _my go to guy about sex, or anything related to it. Sports, yes, but not sex." He said this quickly, before Emmett could interrupt him "Next, I have a proposal. Each of us couples gets two hours in the room to read the fan fiction about us. Bella and I go first, because we made it up here first. After that, it's up to you who goes next. Just be careful not to break anything, okay?"

Everyone looked at him like he was on drugs. Then Alice nodded her head. Jasper followed suit. Emmett looked agreeable, and Rosalie said "That would work."

"Good, now everyone go downstairs so we can talk about this privately. I mean it, go!" He turned and shut the door, and turned the lock. He crossed the room again, and sat in the computer chair. I went over to him. There was nowhere to sit. I looked around, and saw nothing. I settled for the floor. Edward looked down, and rolled his eyes. "What am I going to do with you?" He mocked impatience. He grabbed a remote from the desk, and pressed a button. Music flowed into the room, and I couldn't quite tell from where.

"Um, I don't know. What are you going to do with me?" I played along. Edward rolled his eyes again, and picked me up from the floor. He sat me on his lap. Then, he opened several windows in the computer. Fan fictions about Edward and I popped up. He read them aloud for me. At one point in the middle of a story, I burst out laughing. I would never do that with my hands! This stuff was really graphic, and I didn't like the way they made me out to be so clumsy. I didn't fall down _all_ the time. Edward didn't have to be constantly picking me up. I looked over at him a couple of times. The first time, he looked like he was going to laugh. The second time, during a story about bondage, he didn't look so happy. Considering it was _him_ that was being dominated, I would hope not. We got a really good look at what was being written about us. I asked Edward if that was how it really was, he gave me the 'are you on crack?' look again.

"Of course not! It's….different. I asked Carlisle how it was." He stopped, obviously embarrassed. Our two hours were almost up, and we hadn't made quite the dent I would have liked. There were so many stories! Why were people so interested in us? I didn't understand. Edward got up, and was pacing the room, and I clicked on a new story. It had taken place after Edward left me, and we had reunited, and he changed me. It was about our first time as a vampire couple. I read, amused, and then I felt Edward's presence over my shoulder. "That's not how it would go. You would be too out of control to even think about sex. You'd be fixed on finding food."

"Oh. That doesn't sound very….."

"Appealing?" He finished my thought.

"Exactly. Not very appealing. I think I like these versions better. Especially the bondage one." I played with him, dancing around him, and poking his stomach. He laughed, and tackled me. Both of us sunk to the floor. I had my legs wrapped around his waist, and he was leaning in to kiss me, when the pounding started again. I sighed, and Edward sighed, and we got up off the floor. Well, Edward got up, I was picked up. I flung the door open this time, and they were all standing there.

"Your two hours are up. It's time for you to come out." Emmett said. He was obviously anxious to read the stuff about him. "And time for Rose and I to go in."

Alice gave him a look. "Who says it's your turn?" She elbowed him in the ribs. Emmett doubled over, and Rosalie shot Alice a death glare before bending down to help her husband up. Alice and Jasper traded conspiratorial winks and hi-fives.

"Okay. If you really want to come in here and read the stuff about you, then you can. But you have to go to the end of the hallway, and line up. Give Edward a chance to get out. We'll go to the end of the hall, and I'll say go. It'll be like a race, and whoever wins, gets the two hours." Edward was behind me by now. He walked out of the door, grabbing my hand, and towing me out of the room. Everyone else followed. We reached the end of the hallway, and they lined up. Edward signaled to me, and I said go. They took off so fast that I couldn't see them. Someone must have tripped Emmett, because he tumbled and fell against a door frame. But faster than I could see, he was back in action. There was snapping, and growling, and exchanged insults. They had reached the end of the hallway, and were trying to get past each other, and into the room. Only one couple made it in, though. They slammed the door, and I could faintly hear the lock turning.

The two losers stood in the darkened hallway. The woman's voice was chastising. "I can't believe you lost. Now, we're going to be the last couple to see the stories! God!" She stomped toward us, and into the light. I was surprised that they hadn't won. I really thought they would. She brushed past us, and down the stairs. Edward and I traded smug looks.

"C'mon, give them their privacy. They deserve it. After all, they won the race." Edward motioned to the man, who was still in the darkened hallway. "I can't believe you lost."

Emmett scowled.


	4. Alice and Jasper's turn

**Author's Note:**** The POVs are going to keep changing from here on out. As much as you all like to read from Bella's point of view (and I like to write from it) I have to change it….so be warned. Anyway, thanks for all the spectacular reviews! Now on with the story!**

After Emmett's crippling loss to Jasper and Alice, we all headed downstairs. I noticed that Esme was not back from her lunch with Carlisle. I asked Edward where she was, and Edward's eyes darted to the clock on the wall. "Um, I really don't know where they would be. It's two o'clock now, and his lunch ended an hour ago."

"She went shopping in Seattle. She told me she was going before she left." Rosalie shouted from the kitchen. "She offered to Alice and I, but we had more pressing matters at hand." Her voice was full of laughter.

"Ha ha. You guys are next to read the fan fiction, and I don't think you should be laughing about 'pressing matters' because I got a good look at what was written about you. And it's not pretty." Edward's voice was full of venom.

Emmett scowled from the living room. He was sprawled on the couch, and all of a sudden, his face went from scowl-y to smiley. His eyes lit up. "Hey, Edward, you never told us what was written about you and Bella." His eyes darted from Edward to me, and back. "Care to share?"

"Not really. It's none of your business, and just to make sure, I blocked all the stories pertaining to Bella and I. So there." And in a totally un-Edward moment, he stuck his tongue out at Emmett. My mouth dropped open, as Rosalie stepped into the room.

"What happened?" She sounded puzzled.

"Edward stuck his tongue out at me. I'm surprised at you Edward. OH! That reminds me. We need to have that talk about your slang. And how it's in dire need of updating."

Edward sauntered into the room, and sat himself down on a sofa. I followed, and as soon as I sat down, I felt his arms around me. Rosalie sat near Emmett, and his arms were around her too. I'd never seen them act like a couple before, so this was new to my eyes. Edward broke the silence. "Let the slang lesson begin." He sounded so excited. Not.

Emmett looked surprised. "Okay. First of all, we need to talk about the word _intimate_. Old people say that word. People who were born in the early 1900's say that word. You, shouldn't be saying that word. That word" He got cut off by Edward.

"That word is entirely acceptable. It's not vulgar. I have a feeling some of the words you're going to attempt to get me to use are very vulgar. End of speech."

"Thank god for that. Anyway, nerds use words like _intimate_" Emmett looked at Edward poignantly. Edward scowled back. "Now, some alternate _cool_ words would be: Sexual, copulate, cozy, hot, together,"

"Enough! I've heard enough. Hot? Why hot?" Edward had a strange look on his face.

"No clue, I threw it in on a whim."

"Smart, Emmett. Real smart."

"Shut up, Edward, I'm just as smart, and I'm just as much of a gentleman. I'm just a little more with it. I'm a little bit cooler."

"When you say things like 'with it', it really makes me doubt that your cool factor is as high as you say it is." Edward smirked.

"Bella, have you had enough of the boy's bickering? I certainly have." Rosalie was looking directly at me." I nodded fervently.

"We are men!" Edward and Emmett said simultaneously. Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Sure you are. Whatever you say. Come with me, Bella." I untangled myself from Edward, and hopped up. Rosalie rose fluidly, and took my arm. We went up the stairs together.

"What was that all about? Rose and Bella don't usually hang out." I heard Emmett say to Edward.

Rosalie and I looked at each other, and laughed. In fact, since the Cullens had returned to Forks, Rosalie and I had become quite close. Alice, Rosalie and I formed a great group of friends. They were great shopping partners, and they never tired of doing my hair or dressing me up, which was something I didn't like, but Edward appreciated. We headed up to her room, and her cavernous bathroom. I had the feeling I was in for some primping.

**Alice's POV**

Jasper and I made it to the room. Yes! Jasper had successfully tripped Emmett, slowing them down. Rosalie had snapped at Jasper's head. She missed. Doesn't she know that Jasper's faster than her? I laughed to myself, and turned to lock the door. I heard Rose chastise Emmett. Rough break. Oh well, they would get their turn soon enough. I turned to the computer area. Jasper was reading something already.

"Hey, I thought we were going to read it together! Jasper!"

"I'm a slower reader than you."

"Oh, please. You finish books in a matter of minutes." I was hearing none of his excuses. I'd been married to him for some time now. I knew him better than he knew himself. I crossed the room, and turned on my charm. I pushed in the keyboard, and turned the big black leather chair toward me. Jasper did look surprised. I straddled him. Come to think of it, I didn't really know why I was doing this. I quickly planted a line of kisses along his neck and jaw, ending at his lips. I kissed him deeply, and then turned the chair back around, and started to speed read to catch up with him. I turned back to him. He looked dazed. "Jasper? Are you okay?"

He shook his head. "Yeah, I'm fine." He concentrated on the screen.

I smiled. He would never admit the affect I had on him. Just like I would never admit the effect he has on me. Every time I look into his eyes, or he reaches out to touch me, every cell in my body sings. If my heart worked, I'm sure it would stop. I loved him. And I would never leave him.

All of a sudden, he started laughing. I looked at him, and he pointed to a spot on the screen. Wow! People were so kinky! Whipped cream?

Jasper and I spent the next two hours alternately cracking up, and being very annoyed. I was not the shopping addict/ditzy little pixie people were making me out to be. True, I did enjoy shopping, but not that much. Jasper was annoyed at how quiet he was made out to be, and how he always went along with the program. He was kind of a back round character. I felt for him. But, that's not how he is. In fact, he's very loud when he wants to be, and stubborn too. That's what I love about him: his many facets.

We laughed a lot. The words people used! Snap, whiff, dominate, wicked. I have to admit, the people who write these things sure are creative. I couldn't believe some of the things they wrote about! And they seriously underestimate Edward's ability to block out certain voices. He'd never listen to us while we were….well, you know. He told me once that he blocks everyone's thoughts when he comes into the house. He doesn't listen to us here. He says it's not fair. And he's right.

With about 20 minutes in our 2 hour time slot left, Jasper and I decided we'd had enough. We'd read about 300 stories, and all that explicit content was making me nervous. I quickly blocked all the stories about us from the rest of the family. I didn't really want them reading about us. Especially when a very few of those stories were kind of accurate.

I closed the windows we'd been looking at, and then Jasper and I settled down on the bed to talk. In his arms, I felt like I had no worries. I rested my head on his shoulder, and closed my eyes. As he talked, I could feel his voice rumbling in his chest.

"Alice? Are you listening?"

"No, sorry. What did you say?"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter."

"Okay…" I was going to say something more, but there was knocking at the door. I jumped off the bed, and quickly turned the lock. Bella was standing there.

"The 2 hours are up, guys. It's Rose and Emmett's turn." She peeked around the corner. Jasper waved at her. She waved back, and then turned to me again. "Could you possibly finish what Rose started? I don't really feel comfortable walking around like this." Her hair was half done. The right side was curled, and the left side was twisted up in a pink claw clip. Her makeup was halfway done as well. What was Rose doing to her? She looked awful. But, again, she was only halfway done. The current look was somewhat comical.

"Of course Bella, go to Rosalie's bathroom, and I'll be there in a minute." I shut the door, and turned to Jasper. "It's Rose and Emmett's turn."

"I figured as much." He smiled.

"What?"

I'm just thinking about how pissed Rose and Emmett are going to be once they read those stories. Rose sort of comes off as a hag, and Emmett comes off as really stupid." He started laughing. I did too.

"Yeah, that's something we can't miss."

Jasper feigned shock. "You mean eavesdrop?"

"That's exactly what I mean. But, I have to go help Bella. Rose left when she was halfway done with her hair and makeup. I have to finish it."

"So I'm going to be minus my partner in crime?" he looked sad.

"Looks like it for the moment. I'm sorry, Jasper." I kissed him on the lips, and headed towards Rosalie's bathroom. Bella was in need of my help. As I entered the bathroom, I could hear Jasper yell.

"Rooms free!" Then I heard running. Rose and Emmett slammed my door, and locked it.

I sighed. It was going to be a long two hours. More waiting.


	5. Rosalie and Emmett take a gander

**Author's Note:** **I don't know what to put here anymore, really. Thanks again for all the amazing reviews. It makes my day to read them. This part of the story is about Rose and Emmett, and it's probably not what you're expecting. Enjoy! And remember to read and review! **

**Bella's POV**

I walked down the hall toward Rosalie's bathroom. It really was Rosalie and _Emmett's_ bathroom, but Rosalie used it more often. I slipped into their room. It was so pretty. I padded through the plush, white carpet in their room, admiring the red brocade treatment on the walls, and the bedspread. It was obvious who picked the scheme for this room. I don't think Emmett knew enough about design or color palettes to do a room quite like this. I stepped into the bathroom, and stared at myself in the mirror. Half my hair was done: curled to perfection. The other side was thrown up sloppily and clipped with a pink clip. My makeup was also half done. I had the foundation part, and the powder part on, and there were garish splotches of rouge on my cheeks. Rosalie hadn't had the time to blend them in yet. I wanted to rub all the makeup off, and throw my half done hair into a ponytail, but I couldn't. I loved the way Edward looked at me when I came down the stairs all done up. Maybe I should have Alice and Rosalie teach me how to do those things. God knows I need the help. Then, I heard a very light knocking on the door. I turned, expecting Alice, and instead saw Jasper. His eyebrows raised as he took my new look in. He cracked a smile. I blushed, and quickly tried to suppress it. I knew how difficult it was for Jasper to be around me. He had been a 'vegetarian' for much less longer than the rest of the Cullens. I tried to respect his boundaries.

He spoke first "Nice look."

"Thanks, I try." I rolled my eyes. He smiled. Jasper was always so quiet. I hadn't heard much from him since Phoenix. I had noticed in all the fan fictions that they had made him out to be shy. Alice had told me before that Jasper was anything but shy. He was just very careful. He still felt completely awful for what happened last spring. I'd never gotten the opportunity to tell him that it wasn't his fault, but I could never get him alone to talk.

"Have you seen Alice around? I thought she was coming in here, you know, to fix you."

"Fix me?"

"Yeah. You look…" he trailed off, probably not wanting to insult me. At this point, I really didn't care anymore.

"Awful? Yeah, I figured. Rose hurried out of here, and I don't blame her. Some of that stuff is really interesting."

Jasper's mouth opened. He smiled. "Did you read any of it?" He sounded excited.

"Duh. I was really curious, and I wasn't disappointed. Why, didn't you read any of it?"

"No. Alice wouldn't let me." He put a pout on. "She said it wasn't nice to snoop. Never mind that Alice knows everyone's future, and sometimes looks for it. _That's _not snooping." I think that was the longest speech I've ever heard Jasper make. But he went on: "What did people write about them? I'm really curious."

I had opened my mouth to tell him all the things I'd found, when Alice swung into the bathroom. She kissed him on the mouth, and shoved him out of the bathroom.

"Bye, Jasper. Why don't you go downstairs, and keep Edward company." She winked at him, which was something I didn't miss. Jasper apparently got the message.

"Okay. I'll go downstairs. To keep Edward company. Bye." He disappeared. Alice turned to me. She walked a couple circles around me, taking in my appearance. Then she picked up the curling iron and went to work. She curled the rest of my hair, and then twisted it up into a crown of curls. She the started on my makeup. When she was finished, she whirled me around, so I could get a look at myself. I had to admit, I cleaned up nicely. She took my hand, and we went up the stairs to Edward's room. She sat me on the leather couch, while she rifled through his closet. I had a whole wardrobe here. Edward insisted on making me try things on after Alice bought them, and the storing them in his closet. Do I think he sniffs my clothes when I'm not around? I do.

Alice came out of the closet with several things draped over her arms. First, there was a pair of jeans. Rock and Republic black skinny jeans to be exact. These things were astronomically expensive. I quickly slipped them on. They fit like a dream, and they should, for what Alice paid for them. Then, she handed me a really pretty black, silver and copper sequined top. It was a spaghetti strapped top, and I glanced at the label before I put it on. I almost threw it across the room.  
"Alice! This is _Versace_" I hissed the words.

"And?" She looked puzzled by my anger.

"I can't believe I'm going to wear Versace. How much did you pay for this?!" I was angry that she'd spent all that money on me.

"Uh, three I think? I'm not sure; I don't really pay attention to prices."

"Three hundred?" That was too much.

"No, thousand." She flipped her hand up in the air as if it was no big deal. I forgot how to breathe for a second.

"ALICE CULLEN! I can't believe you paid that much! No way!" I was _not_ wearing that top.

"Bella," she hissed. "It'll look really good on you. Put the top on. _Now._" She looked around, and listened to make sure no one was coming. I did as I was told, and put the top on. She was right. It did look good. She pushed a pair of plain black leather flats, and some black bangles into my hands. I put the shoes on my feet, and slid the bangles on my wrists. Alice drifted forward and put some black earrings in my ears. Then, she moved me in front of a mirror. I looked…amazing. Edward was going to appreciate this.

"Thank you so much, Alice!" I threw my arms around her. She hugged me back.

"See? Isn't it worth three thousand dollars? You look amazing!" She whispered into my ear.

"I guess." I still wasn't sure. That was a lot of money.

"Great. Now, let's go downstairs and knock Edward out of his socks." She led me out, and we started down the stairs.

**Rosalie's POV**

I felt really bad to leave Bella like that. But it was _our turn_. Finally! I was dying to know what people had written about Emmett and I. We were pretty….active, and I wanted to know whether people thought the same thing. As soon as I heard Jasper say that the room was free, I quickly told Bella to find Alice and I dashed downstairs to get Emmett. I pretty much pulled him up the stairs. I locked us into the room, and flew over to the computer. Emmett laughed, and lifted me up, so he could sit on the chair, and I could sit on his lap. I maneuvered the mouse expertly, clicking on the stories that looked the most interesting. I found one. It was about Emmett taking a vow of celibacy. I laughed out loud. Emmett couldn't go five _hours_ without getting restless, let alone five months. He looked at me, an indignant look on his exquisite face. I kissed him full on the lips, and the mad look was replaced with a goofy look. He was head over heels for me, just like I was for him. As soon as the goofy look appeared, I developed one of my own. What was I _doing?_ I snapped myself out of it, and looked back to the screen. The girls made me out to be some sort of a bitch. How rude! The only reason I was cold to Bella was because I didn't trust her. That was then. Now, Bella and I were pretty good friends. I found out just how much she loved Edward when she went to Italy to save him, risking her life. I knew that if someone risked their own life, they wouldn't risk the life, or lifestyle of the person they loved. I'd felt pretty stupid when I realized that, a bit later then all the others. I was trying to make up for how cold I'd been.

They also made me out to be a cold person to the rest of my family. Pigheaded and disagreeable. That wasn't me, not really. I was offended. I'd decided I'd had enough. I hopped off Emmett's lap, and sat on Alice's bed. Let him have a go at the computer. Those 'fan fiction' writers had made him out to be a stupid oaf. Well, he may be an oaf occasionally, but Emmett's not stupid, not really. Ha. I was going to enjoy _his_ reactions to the fan fiction. I sat back, and let him start reading, a smile on my face.

**Emmett's POV**

Rosalie hopped off my lap. I still had that goofy, stupid, blathering look on my face. I still got it every time she kissed me. I still couldn't believe my luck. My wife was _smokin'_ hot, and she would stay that way for _eternity_. Could a man ask for more? I scrolled through the pages, and decided I would skip the fictions about sex. Rosalie and I did enough of that, and I think I would enjoy the real thing better anyway. I flipped forward to one called _Rosalie's Birthday Gone Wrong_ by someone called twilightgirl1918. I opened it, and started reading. I finished it, and for kicks, I left a comment. I read a couple others, and was mildly disappointed. People made me out to be kind of stupid. Okay, a lot stupid. And I wasn't dumb. I hate that. People think that because I have a friendly disposition, and big muscles, that I'm dumb. True, I _did _almost die by being mauled by a bear, but that wasn't my fault. I just meant to do a little hunting, not for bears, by the way, and then all of a sudden, this huge bear comes out. I tried to run, but it caught me. Not my fault. Geez. One bear mauling and people label you a dumbass.

Anyway, I'm not dumb. I swear. I'd kind of had enough of fan fictions by this time too, and I glanced over at the clock. We had a half hour left. "You done? I mean, reading the fan fiction?" Rose was lounging on the bed, looking mighty fine.

"Yeah, I really don't want to read anymore about how much of a hag I am. I'm not a hag, am I, Emmett?" She flashed her puppy dog eyes at me. I felt like I fell into them. She was so _hot._

"No, baby, you're not a hag, or anything close." I reassured her, and by this time, I was on the bed with her, and she was snuggling into my arms. This woman was heaven on earth.

"Thank you, Emmett. I think we should go downstairs now. I want to see what Alice did with Bella, and his reaction. His head will probably fall off." She started laughing, and it sounded like music. Really good music. The kind you dance to. I was so lovesick. Someone needed to slap me.

"Okay. Let's go." I pulled her up off the bed, and held on to her hand. We walked over to the door, and I pulled it open. So much for the lock. Oops. I walked forward, pulling Rose behind me, and almost tripped over something. I looked down. Jasper.

"JASPER! Were you listening?!" I was _pissed_. Suddenly, a wave of serenity washed over all of us. Damn Jasper and his gift. "Oh, you know what? Never mind, it's okay." I stepped away from him, and started toward the stairs, still towing Rosalie behind me.

**Bella's POV**

I followed Alice down the stairs, and into the living room. Edward was sitting with his back to me when we reached the room. He must have smelled me or something, because he flipped around to see me, and his mouth dropped open. He was next to me in a flash, and his hands were all over me. My waist, my neck, my face, my back. Then his lips were on mine. Wow, I _was_ going to have to let Alice make me over more often. Thank you, Alice.

"So you like it then?" Rosalie's voice came from near the staircase.

"Oh yeah, he likes it. Look at him." Emmett's booming voice rang out, and then he started laughing. They stepped further into the room. Jasper followed. Edward looked around. He pulled me up the stairs. I turned back to wave at everyone. Jasper and Emmett had huge grins on their faces. Rosalie winked at me, and Alice waved back. Edward headed toward his room, dragging my behind him. What on earth was he doing? I guess I was going to find out.


	6. Carlisle and Esme examine the site

**Author's Note: I just got done having a good laugh. Someone, I think courtkneefaygo, asked if I was going to write a lemon. I, being fairly new to the whole fan fiction thing, had no idea what a lemon was, let alone if I was writing one. So I went to Google, and looked it up. Wow! So **_**that's**_** what they call dirty fan fiction. Anyway, I had a good laugh over it. No, I don't think there is going to be a lemon in this story, but who knows what the future holds! Thanks for the reviews, all!**

**Bella's POV**

As Edward was dragging me up a flight of stairs, a wave of emotion hit me. It made me….it made me really happy that Edward was dragging me up the stairs and away from his family. _Jasper_. Why would he do something like this? I didn't really have an answer for that in my current excited state. So, I relaxed and enjoyed the dragging.

We made it up to Edward's room, and it seemed like he was over Jasper's horny mood wave. I, however, was not. As soon as he closed the door, and let go of my hands, I was all over him. I ran my fingers through his hair, and kissed his neck, cheeks, and forehead. My fingertips brushed the bottom of his knit gray sweater, and I yanked up on it. To my great surprise, Edward didn't resist. He put his arms in the air, so the sweater would come off more easily. I flung it across the room, and it landed near his floor to ceiling window. I didn't glance out the window like I usually did. Bad move on my part.

But I kept going. I ran my hands across his chiseled, chilly chest. I marveled at how muscular he was. His hands, meanwhile, roamed across my back, and encircled my waist. His hands on my body right now, felt like pure heaven. He turned me around, so he could rub my shoulders, and that was when I saw them, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and Emmett, standing far enough away from the house that they could see every move that Edward and I made. Their mouths were open, and Emmett was laughing so hard that he was bent over. I turned around, and streaked into Edward's bathroom. He followed me, and closed the door.

I sat on the toilet, and buried my head in my hands. Edward pried my hands away from my head, and tilted my face upwards. He kissed my lips with the gentlest pressure, and I felt woozy. Why did he have to be so good at kissing me? It wasn't fair. "It's not your fault. It's Jasper's. I'm reading his mind, and Emmett put him up to this. But I don't think they planned on your…..overzealous reaction. It was cute though, and very….attractive." He smiled his half smile at me, and I thought I would faint.

"But still. Your whole family watched me attack you! They probably thought I was mauling you. I feel like an idiot." I tried putting my head in my hands again.

Edward was having none of that. "I like your face, particularly when you are embarrassed. The color on your cheeks is wonderful. And besides, I don't think you should be embarrassed at all. What you did, it was….natural for a human like you. And not _all_ of my family saw you. Carlisle and Esme aren't home."

Carlisle and Esme. Oh my god. They were going to come home sometime, and no doubt be filled in on all of today's events, including what happened in Edward's room just now. I got embarrassed all over again. I looked at Edward, and he smiled, but weakly.

"Uh, scratch that last statement. Carlisle and Esme _are_ home. They just got back. We should go down and greet them. Carlisle hasn't seen you today." He got up, and opened the bathroom door. He held it open for me, and I walked out, and as I did, Edward did something I never thought he would do: He swatted my butt. My eyes widened in surprise, and I turned to face him. He saw the look on my face, and broke out into laughter. Then he kissed my lips, and headed toward the door. Something was missing, though.

"Edward, wait!" I called, and he was already in the hallway. He turned to face me.

"What?" He was slightly annoyed.

"You forgot something." I teased, holding his shirt up with my finger. He smiled, strode over to me, and snatched it off my finger. He put the shirt on, before I blinked. He does look good in gray, I must say. Most people can't pull that off. But who am I kidding. It's Edward. He can pull off anything.

"Thanks. It might have been a little awkward if I'd gone down there without a shirt on." He wrapped his arm around my waist, and we walked downstairs together. We were at the top of the flight that led downstairs, when we heard Rosalie talking to Alice. They were lounging on sofas in the living room. Edward sat on the top stair, and motioned for me to do the same. I'm not usually an advocate for eavesdropping, but this conversation sounded really interesting. Rosalie was talking in a really quiet voice, but I could still hear her, barely.

"Those writers on that website made me out to look like a mean, conniving person, Alice. It's awful. People are reading that, and thinking that about me. I can't believe it!" Rosalie sounded hurt.

"It's not that bad, Rose. We know that you're not like that. And that's what matters, right?" Alice tried to reassure Rosalie.

"You don't care that they label you a ditzy shopping fanatic? A ditzy shopping fanatic whose predictions of the future are rather faulty? I'd be fairly angry if I were you, Alice."

"Are you trying to make me mad, Rose, because it's working? At least my husband wasn't labeled as a stupid oaf!" Alice shot at Rosalie. I don't think I'd ever heard Alice sound so mean.

But it's not like Rosalie can't handle herself. "Well, my husband might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but at least he's not whipped! At least when I say 'jump', my husband doesn't say 'how high?'!" Their argument was getting heated. Edward stood up, and waltzed down the stairs and into the living room.

"Ladies, ladies. It's fan fiction. It doesn't really matter. Calm down." By this time, I was in the living room. They both shot looks at Edward. If looks could kill, Edward would be dead several times over.

"Back off, Edward. Why don't you take little Bella upstairs and…" Edward cut Alice off.

"Shut up, Alice. That was Jasper's fault. Not mine." He strode into the kitchen. Carlisle and Esme were sitting at the breakfast bar, talking. They looked up when we came into the kitchen.

"Hello, Bella. It's nice to see you." Carlisle said. Even after a 10 hour shift at the hospital, Carlisle still looked like a model. He was, after all, a vampire.

"It's nice to see you too, Carlisle." Even though we had only last seen each other yesterday, Carlisle always offered me this greeting. He turned toward Edward.

"So what is this Esme and I hear about some fan fiction website? Alice told me a little about it when we came in. May I have a look?"

Edward looked taken aback. "Go ahead. You know where the computer is."

"Very well, then." Carlisle took Esme's hand and they went up the stairs together. Edward turned to me.

"I'm going outside. Jasper and Emmett are out there. Why don't you join Alice and Rosalie in the living room?" He slid open the glass door, and went outside. I made my way into the living room. Alice and Rosalie sat in frosty silence.

"Edward went outside. I think he's going to have words with Emmett and Jasper" I was mildly interested in what was going to happen, and had no intention of staying inside. What a joke. Alice and Rosalie's heads snapped toward me. A small smile spread across Alice's face.

"What are we doing in here, then? Let's go outside!" She leaped off the sofa, and walked swiftly toward the door. Alice opened it, and walked through, Rosalie gracefully made her way outside, which left me to close the door. I stepped outside, and slid the door closed, but my finger got caught in the door jamb, and got smashed. I cried out in pain, and a string of expletives found their way from my mouth to the air. Edward was by my side in an instant. He put my throbbing finger to his lips, and kissed it. The cold made it feel immediately better.

He leaned down toward me, and I blushed. "I've already taken care of what I needed to take care of, so let's go inside and get you some ice for this, hmm?" Edward kissed my finger again.

"Actually, I think your lips are a little better than ice. Better looking, anyway." My finger was pressed into his palm, and it felt a million times better. As we walked through the sliding glass door, Edward shut it this time, I glanced back. Rosalie and Alice were dancing around a small tree, holding hands. Emmett and Jasper were tied to the tree with some very thick rope. They were struggling against it, and something told me that they wouldn't have to struggle much longer. I turned back to Edward.

"Did you do that? Did you tie Jasper and Emmett to the tree? Edward Cullen!" I chastised him. But it _was_ pretty funny.

"Hey, they almost saw my girlfriend without a shirt. I couldn't let them get away with that. If your shirt had come off, they would be in much more trouble." He smiled down at me.

"You thought about taking my shirt off?" I was flabbergasted.

"I was this close." Edward demonstrated by putting his index finger and his thumb about a millimeter away from each other.

My mouth hung open.

**Esme's POV**

I have to admit, I was genuinely surprised when Alice told me about the fan fiction this morning. I never would have thought. I originally got very worried, but she told me that no one from Forks could access it, so that eased my worries a little. I told Carlisle when I went to have lunch with him, and he thought it was hysterical. We both had a good laugh over the thought of dirty Bella and Edward fan fiction. Then, the same horrible thought occurred to us at the same time: What if there was something like that about _us_ out there? We talked about it for awhile, and decided that when we got home, that we would nonchalantly check it out. We walked in the door, and Alice told us that Edward and Bella were in Edward's room. She winked at me, and I decided against going up there to ask him about the fan fiction. Who knows what they do when they're alone. And I most definitely didn't want to interrupt anything. So Carlisle and I parked it in the kitchen, and waited for them to come down. After they went outside, Carlisle and I slipped upstairs.

I really was anxious to read some of this stuff, but I was sidetracked when I noticed the broken lock on the door. Someone was going to pay. If I could have cried, I would. I spent a considerable amount of time redoing the doors. They were a mess when we first got this place. Carlisle managed to rip me away from the door, and get me to focus on the situation at hand. I sat on his lap while he navigated the computer. Alice had very nice furniture. Maybe at the next house, I would have to ask her to help me decorate.

I leaned back, and kissed Carlisle on the cheek. He smiled at me. Being with Carlisle was like living in paradise, everyday. And the best part was, it would last forever. And who could ask for better kids? Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Edward, Jasper and Bella were some of the greatest people I knew. Would I really ask for more? No, I don't think I would.

We checked out the scene for awhile. We didn't find anything too steamy about us. But I did notice a pattern in the way we were portrayed. I was always the nice, motherly one, who never pried. I was always nice, and never yelled. I was flattered, sincerely flattered. I _was_ motherly, and I hoped I came off that way to the kids.

Carlisle was portrayed as a noble doctor, who helped anyone and everyone. I noticed that the girls who wrote fan fiction really liked Carlisle, and honestly, I couldn't blame them. Carlisle was very handsome, and any lady would be lucky to enjoy his company.

When we had finally satiated our curiosity, we went downstairs. I could hear racket coming from the kitchen, and I wanted to see what it was. If one more thing got broken, I was going to come unglued.


	7. The Great Plan

**Author's Note****: Hm. Well, my friends, we have finally reached the end on this story. I know, I know, it's so sad! I love writing this, believe me. Thanks for all the fantabulous reviews. Oh, and I have some exciting news at the bottom. Just wait.**

**Bella's POV**

Rosalie and Emmett were throwing marshmallows at each other, and Alice and Jasper were throwing fruit when Carlisle and Esme came in. Alice got distracted when Esme came in with an angry look on her face. An apple hit a frying pan, and knocked it off the overhead rack it was hanging on. Esme's eyes widened, and she yelled.

"Enough! Who broke the lock on the door? Answer me that!" She stood with her legs apart, and her hands on her hips. I've never seen sweet, gentle Esme that angry over anything.

"The lock on the door is broken?" Emmett pasted an innocent look on his face and looked around at us. Everyone's eyes flashed to him, and Alice emitted a growl the likes of none I've ever heard before. Edward kept his back turned. He was making me something to eat, and to tell the truth, it smelled pretty good. It smelled like it had onions in it.

"I can assume that you broke the lock, Emmett. You have to learn to control yourself. And you know what? You can go fix it. Now." Esme still had her hands on her hips. Emmett balked, as if he didn't want to walk past her. I was flabbergasted, and the room was absolutely silent. _Emmett_ didn't want to walk past _Esme_. How bizarre! "Now!" Esme pointed her finger up in the direction of Alice and Jasper's room. Emmett skulked off. Alice and Jasper immediately started laughing. Rosalie stalked off after Emmett. Edward was too wrapped up in trying not to make my food taste like something dead. Carlisle sighed, and seated himself at the breakfast bar. Esme strode over to me.

"I'm so sorry Bella; I hardly ever act like that. I don't know what came over me." She lowered her voice until I could barely hear it. "You wouldn't happen to know what Edward is doing, would you?" She had a skeptical look on her face.

"I'm preparing Bella food. She's been here all day, and hasn't had anything to eat." Edward kept his back turned, and the food he was preparing hidden.

Esme went right to the point. "What are you making her?" She turned to me, and mouthed "Are you sure you want to eat that?" I nodded. I trusted him, and I would eat anything he made, even if it tasted like road kill. That's how much I loved him.

"I'm making her….well, you'll find out what it is soon enough." He turned toward me and smiled. Ahh…road kill. He took the pan and tipped it out onto a plate. He put some sort of sauce over it, and then turned to me. Alice and Jasper quit laughing, and turned to pay attention to the food Edward was offering me. Carlisle and Esme's eyes followed it to the table. He sat it down in front of me, and I recognized immediately what it was. Edward watched with obvious giddy anticipation as I took the first bite. I didn't taste like road kill. Actually, it tasted pretty good. Really, good.

"Edward, this stir-fry is amazing! I really think you should consider a career as a chef." I flashed a huge smile at him, and he looked immensely relieved. Alice and Jasper looked at me like _how can you eat that?_ And Esme and Carlisle patted Edward on the back, and left the room. Emmett and Rosalie returned shortly after.

Emmett said what Alice and Jasper were thinking, "How can you eat that, Bella? It doesn't look good at all." He grimaced as I stuck another forkful into my mouth. I rolled my eyes.

"Because it's good, wonderful, actually. Edward really does know how to appeal to human tastes. I'm proud of him." Edward was scowling at Emmett, but stopped once I said the word 'proud'. His chest puffed up a little, and he looked at Emmett like, _See, my girlfriend thinks it's good. So there_.

After I had finished my food, all of us traipsed out into the backyard. There was a trampoline there, and Edward hoisted me up onto it. I noticed with relief that there was a protective guard all around the sides, so I couldn't fall off. Edward climbed up after me. Then Alice, then Rosalie. Emmett and Jasper stayed on the ground. All of us hopped around on the trampoline for awhile, and then I suddenly felt a little ill. Edward whipped me off the trampoline, and without the bouncing, I felt a little better. It was getting dark by this time, and Jasper went around, and lit some outdoor candles. Emmett flipped all the cushions on the outdoor sofa over, in search of a remote. Why he would have a remote outside in a place where it rained all the time was beyond me. Anyway, he found the remote, and pressed a button. Screamo music came out at full volume from the sound system. Edward shot a look at Emmett. He turned it down, and then to something else entirely. It was something by Frank Sinatra.

"Sorry about that, guys. It's what I listen to when I'm alone." He flashed a nervous smile. Edward laughed.

"I do too, but remember to turn it off next time." Edward sat down fluidly on the couch next to me. I leaned my head against his chest. Alice and Jasper were sitting on a loveseat together. Rosalie and Emmett were swaying to Frank Sinatra's voice. A couple minutes later, they'd had enough of dancing, and sat down.

"So, today was interesting to say the least." Alice piped up. Jasper had his head on her shoulder.

"Oh yeah. Finding out that people write about us having sex is very interesting. Even more so when you get to read it." Jasper had sat up now, and Alice grasped his hand.

"I didn't like it at all. They made me look like a _bitch_. It wasn't entertaining in the slightest." Rosalie got an indignant look on her face. Emmett rubbed her back.

"Eh. I didn't really mind that they made me look stupid. I know it's not true." He puffed up like a kindergartner who had just gotten praised on writing an H the right way.

"Yes, today certainly was interesting. But I hope we never have to read about ourselves like that again. I think it's safe to say that reality is better than what they write about." He gazed down at me, a silly smile on his face.

All of a sudden, Emmett got the strangest look on his face. "Hey, I have an idea. We have the whole week off of school right?" He looked to each of his siblings, and Rosalie. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Edward rolled his eyes. "Of course _you _do Edward. What about everyone else?" He winked. I saw eyes light up all around me. Then, Carlisle and Esme stepped out on the deck.

"I have to go to Seattle for a couple days for a doctor's convention. I'm going to leave tonight, and be back….on Thursday. Do you think you all can handle yourselves?" Everyone nodded fervently. I got what Emmett was thinking just then.

"Okay. We're leaving now. See you guys in a couple days."

"Behave yourselves." Esme dashed up and hugged everyone, including me. "Bye!" She waved from the car. A couple seconds later, they were gone. Emmett turned back to us.

"So, everyone thinking what I'm thinking?" Emmett's grin widened. Everyone smiled back.

"Yeah, let's have a party!" Alice yelled. Everyone else cheered, and we went inside to get the planning rolling.

It was going to be wild.

**A/N: Can you say sequel?! Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed, and be sure to review this chapter too! I'm off to write!**


	8. Author's Note

**Author's Note: The sequel to **_**Alice's Discovery **_**is called **_**Mission: House Party**_**, and I just put the first chapter up. Go and read! Yay!**


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